The Weekly Shtikle - Toledos
This week's shtikle is dedicated le'iluy nishmas my rebbe and Rosh HaYeshivah of Yeshivas Ner Yisroel, Harav Yaakov Moshe Kulefsky, zt"l (Yaakov Moshe ben Refael Nissan Shlomo) whose yahrtzeit is tomorrow.
As Rivkah Imeinu endured her difficult pregnancy, she began to ask herself questions. She ponders (25:22) "im kein, lama zeh anochi," if so, wherefore am I thus? Or, more simply, why am I doing this? Rashi explains that Rivkah was questioning why she had yearned and prayed for this pregnancy. On the surface, this certainly seems like doubt on her part. But I believe the end of the pasuk shows that not to be the case.
Rivkah is teaching us a great lesson in dealing with the emotions of doubt. Inside, she was certainly feeling that this pregnancy was not "what she bargained for." Her approach, however, was not to give up and to declare her efforts a lost cause. Rather, she knew that certainly there was a purpose in all of this, a reason for her to endure and fight on. This is evidenced by her immediate visit to Sheim to seek guidance from HaShem. Rivkah teaches us that everything has a purpose. As we face trials and tribulations in our lives, whatever feelings we may have emotionally, our first course of action must always be lidrosh es HaShem, to search for a higher purpose. It is perfectly legitimate to ask, "Why?" The challenge is to make sure that it is not a rhetorical question.
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